Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Colin Meloy sings Sam Cooke
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Click here for soft paws and a healthier coat.
You got to love Colin Meloy. He has the craziest looking mouth ever. Not crazy looking like Mick Jagger or Steven Tyler...just crazy. I'm glad that he uses it for good and not evil that's for sure. If he used it for anything other than singing to his fans, we'd be in a heck of a lot of trouble. Think about that.
This tour goodie can be filed under his other CD only releases: Colin sings Morrissey and Colin sings Shirley Collins.
This time he's taking on the hot, buttered soul of Sam Cooke and it's done really well.
Camera Obscura - Rare UK Bird
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Click here to exude cleanliness.
Today is the last day of 2008. Was it a good year? I'll leave that open to discussion. As I write this post I'm on the phone, actually I'm on hold, with everyone's favorite Swedish retailer, Ikea. I've been trying to get a new couch seeing as I didn't lug the old one with me to our new flat.
They've been out of stock and all of this floor squatting is reminding me too much of G.G. Allin.
Anyway, if I actually had a couch right now I'd definitely pour myself a glass of chilled, boxed wine and listen to this album.
Enjoy Rare UK Bird from Camera Obscura.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
From the personal files of the Robot: Landlord Hell!
Hey gang, how's it hangin'? I hope you all got some good stuff for Christmas this year and I hope that everyone is well. The holidays haven't been too sweet for Mrs. Robot and me though. For this, I have to blame my landlord. Actually, my former landlord of eight days. He's a real piece of work I tell ya. It's amazing that some people could be so cruel for no apparent reason other than their pride.
When we returned to Los Angeles from our Nashville escapade Mrs. Robot was as pregnant as a cute little thing could be. If you haven't read any of my earlier posts, she was carrying twin babies. Anyway, we ended up renting a house. It wasn't anything special. It had a little yard for my two dogs and washer dryer hookups. That was really our only specification because with her about to give birth, it wasn't like she'd be out walking the dogs and carrying bags to the laundromat.
We called the telephone number from an ad in Craigslist and the guy agreed to meet us at the apartment about an hour later. He said he was out at a dinner, but he could get away. Excited to go look at a place, we hopped into the car and drove over there. When we arrived we met the man who would ultimately become the subject of this story.
Fast forward exactly 11 months later which brings us to the present. The man is either a professional idiot or he's certifiably insane. Our relationship began to sour after our cozy little home became an icebox. The winter was upon us and there was no heat in the apartment at all. Of course we didn't notice this when we moved in, but we did address it shortly after we unpacked the last box. When we told him that we were freezing he suggested that we buy space heaters. We did. When we plugged them in the power blew out. More than once.
Then the babies came and feeling their cold little bodies broke my heart. I'd had enough. I called the landlord and the fact that I was asking for heating must have been too much of a hassle. He told us that if we were unhappy, we could get out of the lease without penalty and we'd get our security deposit back in full. We thanked him for the offer and said that we would consider it. We just wouldn't up and move again with newborns, you know?
Fast forward to now: we decided that the babies could no longer stand the cold so we sent him an email giving him our 30-day notice to move. Well, apparently he's changed his mind and is denying his verbal agreement to let us go. On top of that he's stated that he will be keeping out security deposit as well. Since the actual lease is not up until the end of January, he's keeping our money to pay for that month.
We've sent him emails that detail our plan and his responses, but he's denying everything. Now, he's even trying to accuse of us of, dare I even say it? Having dogs!
That's the funniest thing yet! He knew we had dogs, two of them, when we moved in on our very first day because he was there. Though upon closer inspection it seems as though he's left it off the lease. How convenient.
There is so much more to this, but just writing about it now is making me feel nauseatingly "UN-fun."
I'm just keeping you guys in the loop.
Fast forward to now: we decided that the babies could no longer stand the cold so we sent him an email giving him our 30-day notice to move. Well, apparently he's changed his mind and is denying his verbal agreement to let us go. On top of that he's stated that he will be keeping out security deposit as well. Since the actual lease is not up until the end of January, he's keeping our money to pay for that month.
We've sent him emails that detail our plan and his responses, but he's denying everything. Now, he's even trying to accuse of us of, dare I even say it? Having dogs!
That's the funniest thing yet! He knew we had dogs, two of them, when we moved in on our very first day because he was there. Though upon closer inspection it seems as though he's left it off the lease. How convenient.
There is so much more to this, but just writing about it now is making me feel nauseatingly "UN-fun."
I'm just keeping you guys in the loop.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The Weakends from France...
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Click here to eat it out.
The Weakends might just be one of my favorite bands to come around in a long time. I know all you hip bastards probably know all about them, but in the small chance that you haven't had a chance to listen to some of their fantastic, hip shakin', beer guzzlin' rock and roll....here you go.
This is not the album, just a sprinkle of songs because you need to get up off of your ass and buy it from Rob's House Records.
Another Girl...another planet
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Click here to remove that boil.
It's the Christmas season once again. Some of my readers might be having their own winter wonderland, playing in the snow and making angels and snowmen. Others may be in some snowless place where the only reminder that the holidays are upon them are the bent tinsel hanging from their office windows, the festive sweaters, and the endless loop of the Alvin and the Chipmunks album playing somewhere within earshot. This is for them.
The Only Ones were/are and English punk pop band that release this debut record in 1978. We all have a lot of records, but this is one of those that shouldn't be collecting dust in your collections.
Friday, December 12, 2008
I was wondering....
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Reigning Sound indeed!
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Click here to avoid that not so fresh feeling below.
I don't remember where I actually got these from, but hopefully they're new to some of you. I really can't wait until they put the new album out. I swear, the stalker in me wants to fly out to Asheville, NC just to hang around suspiciously near a diner in hopes of coincidentally bumping into Greg Cartwright. If that happened I'd be like:
"Oh, excuse me. Hey...aren't you...Man, I'm sorry...what's your name? It's on the tip of my...wait! You're that guy from Reigning Sound??!? Yeah, man... do you live around here? My friend is a big fan so that's how I recognize you."
That scenario would be plausible until I began showing up everywhere he ever went.
Anyway, enjoy this semi-acoustic set from Thacker Mountain Radio. It's good.
Little baby Robots!
Lou Reed - Early recordings
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Click here for momma's milk.
Way before the Velvet Underground were the toast of the New York art scene, a teenage Lewis Reed was singing his little heart out with a band that called themselves The Jades. Two of the songs from this 7" were culled from those sessions. These recordings are actually quite good. Enjoy! Ripped for your enjoyment.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Lost Sounds
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Click here to make those toes shorter.
Damn! What is it with my obsession with Memphis lately?
Here we have an early album from the cannon of Mr. Jay Reatard along with Ms. Alicja Trout. Let the synthesizers enter your mind. Then...go out and smash some douchebag in the face with a bottle. You'll feel much better. It'll almost be like getting licked by a puppy. Awwwww....
Enjoy The Lost Sounds self titled debut!
Get a room at the Neutral Milk Hotel
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Click here to bring back Spinner's nut.
I was watching an episode of Degrassi High TNG (Yes, I'm too old) the other day when Craig Manning, one of the characters on the show was talking about music. All of a sudden he mentioned Neutral Milk Hotel as one of his favorite bands. It made me wonder if he liked them in real life and wanted to give them props or if the writers were just shooting for hipster cred and he memorized his lines while running on a treadmill with dance music playing on his ipod ? Sadly, this burning query will never be answered.
This album is their debut. It's called On Avery Island.
PS. Who cares if I'm in my 30's...that show is awesome. So is this band. Best played when you are rockin' softly.
White Stripes Live in Las Vegas 9.23.03
Sides A, B, & C:
http://sharebee.com/c279441f
Sides D & E:
http://sharebee.com/068a9960
Click here for longer arms
Sure, Jack White isn't the mysterious rock and roll bad ass he once was, but you're a prick liar if you tell me you didn't think he was the cat's meow a few years back before he went and released Meg's sex tape...just kidding. I mean, before his new wife stabbed Meg...me kidding again. Hey, where's Meg? Megan? Hellooooooo? Megbot?
Anyway, this live show was rad and the vinyl version is next to impossible to get if you're not rolling in dough and coincidentally are registered with eBay.
It's a long show so I had to break it up into two separate files. Don't bitch about it. Just rock!
Get cut by the Demon's Claws
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Click here for your very own tumor.
This Montreal band (Hi O' Canadarm)is exactly what you need the next time you are out for a night of fucking and fighting. They capture that whole trash rock vibe with great ease. I highly recommend that you peddle your ass down to the shops and buy whatever records this band releases.
Enjoy the debut long player from the Demon's Claws!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Claire Austin sings the blues
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Click here for a brutal fisting.Born in 1918, Claire Austin 's interest in music began in high school where she studied piano and sang alto in the choir. Originally she didn't want to make a career out of music, but after dealing with a strict father who didn't want her to go to college because he was nuts, she decided that she was going to sing at all of the jazz clubs in Washington just to spite him.
People liked what they heard and pretty soon she was singing all over the place. She was playing a gig in California during World War 2 when she met her husband, a soldier. He was playing the drums in some unknown band. She thought he had a nice ass and they married soon after.
That pretty much killed her career. She got pregnant and became a chubby housewife. It wasn't until 1953 when she got off of her ass and made this record. Damn.
Photo credit goes to dantiques dot com
Elvis Presley was a fine king...
http://sharebee.com/abef5c31
Click here to listen to the bacon fry.It's funny...when you were a kid you kind of looked at your parents music as lame because you wanted to listen to nothing but heavy metal and punk rock, but then you get a little older and realize that your parents knew something that you were way to much of a proud idiot to notice.
You realized that a lot of the older stuff was so much more rockin' than you would've imagined. Now, I didn't really have that problem because although my parents were a prostitute and a junkie, they did have awesome taste in music and they convinced me really early. Well, except for my brief infatuation with the Village People. This has nothing to do with the Elvis record I ripped from vinyl for you, but I thought I'd share. I wonder what my daughters are going to think of the White Stripes? I use that as the reference point because Elvis is going to seem as old to them as the T-Model Ford is to me.
Enjoy C'mon Everybody by the King, Elvis Presley!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
King Louie One Man Band
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Click here for much more cowbell.After posting the Bad Times record a little while ago, I was inspired to find my King Louie One Man Band LP for you guys and rip it straight off the vinyl. Personally, I don't really get into this one, but recent studies have shown a rise in popularity with kids 16 to 24. I'm a BBQ devotee so any other one man bands are surely gonna have a hard time getting in.
This is highly recommended for anyone who enjoys that voice over from those Zatarains commercials or snot nosed, silly lyrics.
Favorite track? She's a big, big bopper!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Finally, an answer to the question nobody's asking...
If anyone is interested in why I write this blog, I'll tell you. I love Rock and Roll. I love all of its silly little offshoots too. But the truth is: A lot of people don't. Who knows why Celene Dion is bigger than Rachel Nagy? Or Michael Jackson is bigger than Morrissey? It's a strange world. It's a good thing it is.
We live in a weird generation where bands get famous or infamous through a computer. One guy hears it...rips it...sends it out. After that, a hundred new fans are born. And that's just today. Imagine later...
The band has a thousand fans. 800 bought it online. 200 got it free just because...
Now, I call that a good day.
I began writing this blog just to see if I could. I started with a Thin Lizzy post. That was a while ago. I want people to know this music. I mean no harm.
There are kids out there who've never heard The Sonics, but they download an album from some blog and if they really dig it they go out and buy the t-shirts and go to the shows and try your next record out on vinyl, even if it's a grossly overpackaged, limited edition of 100 on that crazy, red wax. You win.
If you're an older band that hasn't had an album pressed in years, don't worry. There are many bloggers out there who aim to educate. We'll tell people about your band. If your album's out of print, no stores sell it and your record label doesn't sell it? Where do the kids buy it? Where does your money come from? Not music... because there isn't any of yours available to buy, but the bloggers...they at least tell your stories.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Peter Doherty - Acoustic Lullaby
http://sharebee.com/7dd0ade5
Click here for a little heartache.Oh Pete, I remember you when you were a fresh faced young man who was just experimenting with illegal substances. We were having fun. Who would've thought you'd like them so much? Anyway pal, we're not mad at you. No sir. If you need to be high all of the time, then so be it. Just do us a favor...don't die. We still love you. Thanks.
PS. Stay away from Winehouse. It's just too much of a mind warping crack blast that occurs when the two of you occupy the same space. Our veins can't handle it. Plus, she makes you look fat.
The Sonics - Here are the Sonics
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Click here to see me see you.I ain't gonna write no big intro here. No ma'am. If you don't know who these Pacific Northwest rockin' fools were, well...here's a pretty good introduction.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Ohrobot's greatest albums of all time: The Smiths - Hatful of hallow
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Click here to crack the whip. You deserve it.This may be my very favorite Smiths album of all time simply for its inclusion of "Handsome Devil." The driving force behind that songs only upsets me because it isn't longer than it is.
I was inspired to post this album because of a conversation with a young lady who isn't old enough to drink, but knows just as much about the 80's as someone who was a teenager then. This conversation led me to realize something that I'd known all along, but had forgotten; every cool kid, male or female, that I've ever come across has been infatuated with Morrissey at one point or another.
What is it with that guy anyway? He's like the Pied Piper for kids with emotional issues. As for me, I worshiped him completely. If he wore a checkered shirt, I wore one. If he wore big glasses, so did I. I wish that I still had the ten composition books full of poetry I wrote back then. I'm sure that it wouldn't bring any tears to your eyes, but they were good enough to be set to the back beat of Johnny Marr's guitar.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
WIll I burn? A study in zealots.
I hope I don't offend anyone (I will) by saying that I am not a religious man. I don't go to church. I don't worship anything. I don't really acknowledge that there is a God unless someone asks me if I believe in him or her. What's up with that anyway? People shouldn't ask that because they can't handle the answer they get if it isn't exactly their belief.
I wasn't raised in a religious household. Really, it wasn't much of a household at all, but somehow I've managed to become a good man. Sure that's my opinion and there's a chance that someone may feel I am not, but the truth is that I do right by my family, by my job, by my friends, and by the general public. I don't lie, except little, white ones like when I tell someone that the food they made was good, but I can't finish it because I'm full from something I had eaten earlier. Other than that I come clean about it all. Crap...I don't even jaywalk. I donate money to a few different causes and I try not to curse too much. I think I'm a pretty good guy.
I never really bought into the whole religion thing. It always came across as silly to think that people would spend time fearing some unknown figure that created the universe, worried that he or she may 'smite" us for living in a way that clashes with his ways. Really? If there is a God and a heaven and a Devil and a hell, and we're supposedly going to end up in one of them after we die, then why do we even know about it? More importantly, how does the guy who wrote the bible know about it?
The reason I'm writing this is simply because there have been an incredible amount of people lately who feel it is their sworn duty to save my soul from eternal damnation. Now, all of them agree that I'm one of the nicest people they know, but still, they all tell me that I'm destined for an afterlife of pain and torture if I don't start going to church, stop being fond of horror movies, and all sorts of other stuff. Horror movies? Yeah, according to some folks in the pack, horror films and any imagery containing skulls and/or anything closely related, are an invitation of sorts that were sent to the Earth by the Devil as bait. Ouch!
Now, trust me when I say that I'm definitely not walking around town dressed in black with skeletons plastered all over my clothing, but I do happen to own a jacket with a patch from the film Evil Dead on it as well as a few other shirts from horror movies I like. Still, I am going to Hell.
I don't want to go to Hell, if there really is one, and I'd really like to go to heaven and lay on a cloud or something, but if what all these folks tell me is true then because I do not sit in a pew or only watch the Hallmark channel, I'd better get prepared to roast like a lamb.
There's this one case in particular when I was training one of the new hires at my job and in the middle of a lesson he stopped me and grabbed his heart. He then raised one hand to the sky and began having a one on one conversation with God. Apparently, the guy didn't want to have the conversation with me, but God was telling him that he'd better do it or else, so he reluctantly agreed. What followed was truly bizarre. To make it short, he told me I was nice and funny, but he added that God doesn't care about any of that. God will only accept me if I become a complete and total devotee to him. I asked if all of kindhearted and good deeds would be enough and he said they wouldn't because I did not wake up to the Lord each day and constantly beg him for salvation. I challenged him and said that if your God can't recognize when someone is good, then I'm not sure what I could do about it.
God, if you truly are real, then I ask...can you come to Earth for a pleasant meet and greet without all of that death and destruction lesson your book says you're gonna bestow upon us? Some of us could really use the meeting. And Satan, if you are truly out there, don't come knocking. Nobody's home.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Bad Times are good
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Click here to fold wood.
Sometimes I think that I should move to Memphis because I seem to gravitate toward the type of Rock and Roll that is associated with that whole Goner Records vibe, but then I remember that I already lived in Tennessee and it didn't work out too well. I know, I know...Nashville and Memphis are two totally different cities, but the true fact remains: I am a person of the coast. East, West, North, South...I guess I just like to live on the edge. Whatevs..
I was tooling around my library and came across this one off album by a one off band called Bad Times. It has three members: Eric Oblivian of The Oblivians, Jay Reatard of The Reatards, who these days is best known as the guy covered in blood and standing in his underwear, and King Louie of the Royal Pendletons. It's not going to win album of the year or anything, but that's only because the Grammy's don't have a category for Lo-fi, fuzzed out, alcoholic rock. They should though. Also, this is not from this year. Yeah.
Labels:
Garage rock,
Jay Reatard,
King Louie,
Memphis,
Oblivians
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Everybody Sexareeno!
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Click here to waddle around.
Hello kids. I don't have too much to say except to tell you that I'm drinking an awesome beer called "Simpler Times" and I'm feeling glorious. Earlier I posted up some King Khan and BBQ records and I felt inspired enough to put up some of Mark Sultan's older material.
Enjoy Les Sexareenos and their 28 Party Dancers!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Des Roar show at Jordi Scott Los Angeles
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Click here for Powers
New song alert!
On October 13th I went to see Des Roar make their first Los Angeles appearance at the Jordi Scott fashion show in Hollywood. After about an hour of super strong white Russians being served up courtesy of Starbucks, the band began playing. They introduced a few newer songs during their set, but made plenty of room for some of their older staples like "Ted Bundy was a ladies man" and "Baby, you're too young"
These three boys and a lady did what they aimed to do. All they wanted was to come to the West Coast and speak the truth to the youth. As usual, they handed over a tight performance to the oddly grouped crowd. It was obvious that a lot of the people there were there just to see the fashion show, but those in the know definitely got a sweet treat.
Anyway, it was a well tuned evening, seeing as the band still hadn't completely recovered from disrupting the Roosevelt Hotel's pool area with a face punching,faux drowning display of Des Roarian charm which led to an eviction and one hell of a great buzz. It's weird to know that you caused such a ruckus that neighboring hotels call each other about it.
They played about ten songs, each chock full of blaring guitars and pounding bass lines. Looking like every bit the dirty rockers they are, the denim and leather was nicely offset by Lyla's flowing, elegant attire. Speaking of Lyla, no Des Roar song seems like it would be complete without her sweet cooing from behind the drum kit.
In closing, this band is definitely one to watch in 2009. They ooze everything that is good about Rock and Roll, booze, and well...booze.
For the life of me I can't figure out why this band isn't more well known. For all you though, you'd best get aboard the train to Blackoutville quick.
Please enjoy: The Ballad of Little Bangs and an alternate take of How much is too much.
*For some crap reason, and another shining example of how the computer Gods hate me, I'm unable to upload the video of this show from my video camera because my computer is like "Whatever man, I don't feel like watching it so I'm gonna shut down without warning. Okay?"
So, you'll have to be okay with the images above because that was all I could pull.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Los Angeles robots: Des Roar DJ gig...
Just so you know, Ben and Ryan of Des Roar will be DJ'ing at Jones on Thursday October 9th, 2008....
7205 Santa Monica Blvd
West Hollywood, CA 90046
(323) 850-1726
C'mon by for good tunes from beautiful goons!
*Ohrobot will be there giving out secrets....shhhh!
While you're waiting, enjoy the performance at the Jordi Scott fashion show in NYC.
7205 Santa Monica Blvd
West Hollywood, CA 90046
(323) 850-1726
C'mon by for good tunes from beautiful goons!
*Ohrobot will be there giving out secrets....shhhh!
While you're waiting, enjoy the performance at the Jordi Scott fashion show in NYC.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Here's one hell of an invite!
I was tooling around on the internets when I came across this genius little invite for some party Diesel's responsible for.
Where are you Aislers Set?
http://sharebee.com/4e111a43
Click here for that dog foot smell.Hello friends. Tonight, in honor of the ever so talented Amy Linton, I present to you a rare little gem. Here' we have a one off split 7 inch from the main Aisler and her pal, her bud, Stuart Anderson of Boyracer.
What I really want to know is : What the hell are those Aislers doing right now? Their myspace isn't really a pool of information. Are they ever going to release another record? If anyone knows I'd be pumped if you could tell me.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Thank you Detroit...
http://sharebee.com/3f292646
Click here to ask Bob why.
Here's a pretty cool record from the Hentchmen. It features a young Jack White lending his abilities to a few songs. It's not breaking any ground, but after this whole "Quantum of Solace" thing, I need my memories. Please enjoy Hentch forth Five.
Labels:
Detroit,
Garage rock,
Hentchmen,
Jack White,
White Stripes
Jack White and Alicia Keys...
...got together and made an overproduced song that will be fawned over by millions. To me however, this is the duet that made me swoon.
Labels:
Country,
Jack White,
Loretta Lynn,
White Stripes
Monday, September 29, 2008
Is your sister this cool?
http://sharebee.com/8cc9cc29
Click here to meet the feebles.
Is it sacrilegious to dress up as a nun and make some throwback beat garage? If it is then, hell...what can I say? At least this isn't the sound track to "The church of fudge" (Google it)
For now however, throw your hands to the sky for Thee Headcoatees and their last record, The Sisters of Suave.
In honor of Halloween...
http://sharebee.com/f0ab364e
Click here for bunny kisses.
I'm very excited to get you guys to listen to this album. Horror punk at its finest. We all know Danzig is kind of a douche bag, but boy can that man make some killer music! Wait...maybe he's a really nice guy and just misundertood? Anyway, this is a perfect album to listen to while you and your friends drink cheap beer in the woods. Enjoy Novembers Coming Fire.
Did somebody say BBQ???!!
http://sharebee.com/3c5b97ad
Click here for Pazuzu's recipe.
In this world there aren't very many one man bands out there that will grab your attention and squeeze it, but this bad motherfukka from Montreal will do just that. Mark Sultan, one half of the garage orgasm that is known worldwide as the King Khan and BBQ Show can sure put it down, Man! The sound is cheap, but by no means is that a negative description. No way. This, his second long player, was recorded live and direct for your lo-fi listening pleasure. If you're a fan of 50's doo-wop, garage punk, and stompy-ass drums, then my friend you have found your new leader. His name is BBQ. Please enjoy tie your noose.
Labels:
BBQ,
Canada,
Doo Wop,
Garage rock,
King Khan,
One man band
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Greg Oblivian's Head Shop
http://sharebee.com/416d0ccf
Click here to watch my baby get ready...
Here is an excellent lo-fi platter served by the legend himself. A must have for all fans especially for the version of Bad Man. Enjoy!
Labels:
Acoustic,
Garage rock,
Greg Cartwright,
Memphis,
Oblivians
Monday, July 28, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Ranting is theraputic...
I just woke up from a short night's sleep. Four hours to be exact. I'm in a good mood even though in my groggy state I spilled a piping hot cup of coffee on my foot. Last night one of my kids decided that she was somehow going to magically grow her stomach in five minute intervals and pretty much shoot huge holes in any sleep theory's I may have been working on. It was about 5am when we were jolted awake by the savage cries of some wild animal that appeared to be inside of one of the bassinets.
We jumped out of bed fearing that a wild creature had eaten the child and was now suffering from a stomach ache. cautiously, I grabbed a pipe that I keep by the bed that was made especially for intruders and raised it over my head in case it lunged at me. We slowly crept toward it.
After lowering the creepy organ music that weirdly started playing out of nowhere, my wife and I pounced on the bassinet and saw the creature. It was writhing around and appeared to be somewhat uncomfortable.
"Feed it." Mrs. Robot said. Realizing that this could be dangerous I said a prayer to Saint Limby, the patron saint of all who have lost a body part and went for it. I picked it up and realized that this screaming monster was actually my child.
I fed her and she gulped every last drop of milk like it was the last drink she'd ever take. After a burp, she fell asleep and I placed her back in her little bed. Feeling every bit the champion, I raised my hands above my head, clasped them together and imitated the slow motion footage that is usually reserved for sports teams who won the championship.
All of a sudden the forest shook once again. The beast wanted more! I sluggishly made a new bottle and placed it on the warmer. Her cries were deafening. I tried to move swiftly to avoid rousing any other nighttime creatures, including my wife.
I repeated the usual steps: feed, burp, soothe, place in bed, but I could tell that this snarling animal wasn't going to go down without a fight. Was I ready for the challenge? I didn't know, but I was damn sure that I wasn't going to run with my tail between my legs.
After an intense battle between the forces of awake and sleepy I emerged victorious once again. I had slain the beast's appetite and laid it down for a night of uninterrupted slumber. Hooray!
You know how in some movies, like at the end where you think that the monster is dead, but then all of a sudden the fingers move or the eye blinks and then the credits immediately start to roll, basically telling you that this monster will definitely be back? Such was my life on this night.
The child will normally have about 3 ounces at that hour, but she was hungry in a way that I'd never seen before. At the end of it all she swallowed close to eight ounces whole. A world record in the Robot household.
Exhausted, I fell asleep at a little before 7:00am on the couch. I just woke up a little while ago and you know what? I'm so tired that I'm pretty sure that the cops could site me with being drunk in public. Maybe a shower will cure this?
Anyway, thanks for listening. This post was actually going to be a review of the Albert Hammond Jr. album, which honestly...was a big disappointment after his incredible first record.
I'm just saying...
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Personal data from the future.
Being a parent is crazy like nothing else. People who have lots of kids probably take it for granted, but I'm sure you'll never get the feeling like when you have your first one. Or first ones in my case.
I'm new at being a parent. The great thing is that for the most part, you know what to do. Recently, someone asked me if I was scared of becoming a father? The answer is I was, but, and I described it as simplistically as I could, said "You know how when you're at the computer downloading something and the little progress bar is becoming fuller? Well, it's that fast.
As soon as they handed me the first one I stopped feeling like I was too much of an oaf to ever hold a baby. All of my silly fears about the soft spots on the head and the general ickyness of a newborn vanished in a flash.
It's the most unique feeling I could describe. There isn't a drug that could hand it to you either.
The girls are now seven weeks old. They're really loud. They cry as if it's the very thing to do. When they sleep, oh, they're beautiful, but when they're doing their usual freak out, well...there's not really much in the way of helping that.
Everyone from the doctor to the janitor and the nurse will tell you that there are three things that will cause a baby to be inconsolable...
1. They're hungry. Those little babies sure love to eat.
2. They've got gas. Hey, sometimes a burp will suffice. If not, and a little song won't do, you're in trouble.
3. They pooped. This is the smelliest option on the list. Generally, the poop will somehow get on their feet and transfer to your hand while you're not looking. They will cry when they feel the touch of the cool baby wipe against their skin. You must keep them clean.
They are ridiculously easy to love. Also, they're just as effortless in their ability to make you want to pull your hair out. There are times when you feel as if the violent shrill of their cries is hurting them. So then you think about how...
so many different experts say so many different things. Can you let them cry? Some say yes and others say no. Who can you believe? I find that the happy medium in my house is to let them cry for only a few minutes before beginning the investigation.
Sometimes kids are just uncomfortable I suppose. Lots of folks say that, but we're a paranoid bunch who'd rather go to the doctor than leave that ugly chunk of wondering floating around.
Goodnight. They're asleep.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
The Greenhornes - Dual Mono
http://sharebee.com/f7539151
Click here to free the ladies in my basement.
Everyday that I wake up and have coffee two things come to mind:
1. "Damn, this coffee is good"
2. "What the hell is Craig Fox doing?"
Well, actually I don't really think about that second one everyday, but to be fair I was thinking about it at this very moment after recalling about how awful the last Racs album was. I wonder if Pat Keeler and Little Jack miss playing those smaller shows?
Ahhh...those were the days. Anyway, what IS Craig Fox doing now? I definitely miss that voice.
Update: I have just learned what the man, Craig Fox has been up to. Along with members of the now defunct Soledad Brothers and Pearlene, he's in the beer soaked band The Cincinnati Suds
Suddenly my life just became that much more warm. I think I'll go ahead and pour myself a little Makers Mark.
Here's their promo video
Labels:
Cincinatti Suds,
Craig Fox,
Garage rock,
The Greenhornes
A simple Ikea Hack
Inspired by the genius minds that submit to the wonderful site Ikeahacker, I decided to get a little creative on my own. While I was going to photograph some of the stuff I've done lately, I looked up at my wall, the same wall I've looked at for a long time now, and realized that I had gotten a bit creative without even realizing it.
What I did was take a wire frame wreath light from Ikea (can't remember the name and can't find the link on the Ikea site)and hang it over a mounted canvas. To get the rich brown color I used a deep wood stain. I know it's not the greatest thing and technically can't be considered a hack, but I thought I'd toss my hat in the ring today.
Dan Sartain
http://sharebee.com/46f0060e
Click here for the secret your mother knows.
This skinny man from Alabama will stab you in the face. Or at least his beady eyes suggest just that. I first heard of Sartain a few years back and instantly felt that he was one to watch. Hand picked by the White Stripes to tour with them, one can instantly see why. His stage presence is awesome! If you search this blog you'll find his video for "Replacement Man" and man, the senseless killing just makes me feel all fuzzy.
Enjoy Dan Sartain vs. The Serpientes!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Every robot got a lonely heart...
Welcome to oh, robot. I'm one guy. If I had to build one thing to save the world...well, I guess it would have to be a fireproof boat big enough to save a lone group of survivors who, against the odds stacked against them, lose a few along the way before ultimately discovering such a dark secret that the forces of hell would stop at nothing to bring them their doom. If I could shut up for ten minutes, I would.
I like music. I like that I know an LA gangster who secretly spends his quiet time listening to Gretchen Wilson. I wish I rode my bicycle more often. I've been playing more guitar lately. It seems I always like doing that better when the bottom string is missing. It snapped off the other day. "Yes!" I thought.
Does anybody who reads this blog wanna say thanks sometimes?
It was 4am the other night when I had just finished a round of cocktails in the backyard. I was listening to King Khan & BBQ when I picked up the hose and watered my yard. It's been hot here and the tips of my privacy greens are beginning to turn a failed orange.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Black Lips time!!!
http://sharebee.com/fd8eb1b9
Click here to know what love is.After taking my ass to the record store last year to buy this album, I went home and did what I do best...drink. Seeing as I had a 1.75 liter jug of cheapo gin, by the time side two rolled around I had my shirt off and was playing air guitar on my front porch.
That's what's great about rock and roll. Agreed?
Please enjoy this crunchy ass live album, Los Valientes del Mondo Nuevo, by these self described "flower punks"
The King Khan & BBQ show!
http://sharebee.com/5b10b7d4
click here to put baby in the corner.I'm a bit late on the band wagon when it comes to these two. I had always been aware of their existence, but failed to take a closer look. I don't know why, maybe laziness is the culprit? Anyway, a few weeks ago I picked up this little gem through a friend and immediately decided that I'd be a lazy man no more. I won't sit here and tell you that every song on this album is great. In my opinion there are at least two clunkers. Most notably "fish fight"
That being said, the rest of this record will definitely satisfy that lo-fi garage punk yearning that I know you've got inside. The kind of hunger that keeps you out there on the streets searchin' for the perfect soundtrack to a booze swillin' evening with the one you wanna bang.
It's like poetry really.
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