Personal data from the future.

Being a parent is crazy like nothing else. People who have lots of kids probably take it for granted, but I'm sure you'll never get the feeling like when you have your first one. Or first ones in my case.

I'm new at being a parent. The great thing is that for the most part, you know what to do. Recently, someone asked me if I was scared of becoming a father? The answer is I was, but, and I described it as simplistically as I could, said "You know how when you're at the computer downloading something and the little progress bar is becoming fuller? Well, it's that fast.

As soon as they handed me the first one I stopped feeling like I was too much of an oaf to ever hold a baby. All of my silly fears about the soft spots on the head and the general ickyness of a newborn vanished in a flash.

It's the most unique feeling I could describe. There isn't a drug that could hand it to you either.

The girls are now seven weeks old. They're really loud. They cry as if it's the very thing to do. When they sleep, oh, they're beautiful, but when they're doing their usual freak out, well...there's not really much in the way of helping that.

Everyone from the doctor to the janitor and the nurse will tell you that there are three things that will cause a baby to be inconsolable...

1. They're hungry. Those little babies sure love to eat.

2. They've got gas. Hey, sometimes a burp will suffice. If not, and a little song won't do, you're in trouble.

3. They pooped. This is the smelliest option on the list. Generally, the poop will somehow get on their feet and transfer to your hand while you're not looking. They will cry when they feel the touch of the cool baby wipe against their skin. You must keep them clean.

They are ridiculously easy to love. Also, they're just as effortless in their ability to make you want to pull your hair out. There are times when you feel as if the violent shrill of their cries is hurting them. So then you think about how...

so many different experts say so many different things. Can you let them cry? Some say yes and others say no. Who can you believe? I find that the happy medium in my house is to let them cry for only a few minutes before beginning the investigation.

Sometimes kids are just uncomfortable I suppose. Lots of folks say that, but we're a paranoid bunch who'd rather go to the doctor than leave that ugly chunk of wondering floating around.

Goodnight. They're asleep.