Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Misfits bring the Static Age


Click here to finally get rid of that dead thing smell.

There once was a time when Glenn Danzig could do no wrong. This record is from that time. Enjoy it while pounding beers or arm wrestling a van full of angry jocks. Fuck those dudes, right? What the hell are a bunch of jocks doing driving around at night anyway? Don't they have some sort of "game" in the morning? Shit.

I'm not sure if girls like this record. I mean, of course there are actual girls, with breasts and vaginas, that listen to The misfits, but how about the girls you might actually want to get in the sack with? From my personal experience...none. 100% of the fairer sex who I have met that had this record had their heads shaved or a facial implant that made them look like a crazy, bumpy animal. If there are some fine ladies that dig this, I apologize. Actually... right now ladies aren't popular with me. They are the equivalent of a scurvy ridden sea rat with an infected sore leaking from its belly. Not only that, but out of the sore comes worms... with knives!

I'll be better tomorrow. Maybe. Until then though, I'd like it if you played this album end to end in your van. Oops, I mean the van you just won from arm wrestling those sissy jocks. Man, you'd think they'd have expected someone to stab them while arm wrestling. Sheesh!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Definitely NOT safe for work... or other places.

Necro - White Slavery feat. Ill Bill

Necro's delivery might be a tough pill to swallow for a lot of folks, but there's always been something oddly soothing about it to me.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Stepping outside!

Tonight I am going out drinking. To most, not a big event, but for me...the guy that buys thousands of bottles of booze for home consumption, it's a little out of the ordinary. Hey...that's because I'm too busy. Right. Yeah...

Anyway, I'm about to hop on my trusty steed...or as you may call it, bicycle, to meet my bud for some pounding. If I get into a fight I'm going to blame the other guy. I'm all peace. Unless of course you say something about my dog. I love dogs so don't mess with em!

Update: It's 3:21 am and I just stumbled into my door. Whew! What a night! First of all, my friend never met me, which makes this the 3rd time this week he's stood me up. Now, I know it's not all his fault because there are "other" forces which prevent him from being totally available, but damn....

It worked out cool enough though. I kinda just played the back of the room sucking down Jack & Coke's to my heart's content. It was swell.

The only low point of the night was when this "artist" guy who claimed to also be a "musician" was bothering some girl across from me. It was obvious that she wasn't buyin' what dude was sellin' but in a weird turn of events she told the guy that I was her fiance. Whoa... it was super obvious that she needed a way out and pointed at the first escape hatch she could find.

Anyway, I was glad to help her out, but I also gave her some advice...I let her know that a drunk male who happens to be "hitting" on you should in no way receive any form of touching.... because, and fellas, let's face it... if a girl engaging in conversation with you happens to touch you, men think that's a secret, unsaid invitation to bone. Hey, I didn't make that up.....sheesh. Ladies... you've been warned. If I must reiterate... don't touch guys unless it is intentional... we're all some sort of trouble no matter how you look at it.

I don't know where she went after that, but I'm glad she was able to use me as an escape. Come to think of it... I didn't see that guy anymore either. Hmmmm? I bet they found each other and since alcohol turns brutes to beauties....

Either way, I'm glad I'm home.  I love it there.

Now, take this song from my younger years.... It's Great Britain Hardcore... It's crazy because I was a kid wearing a G.B.H. shirt to school.  This song has always stuck. Hmmm? I wonder why?

And you know what?
It's always good to know the staff ;)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Astro Zombies are serious business.

I've never been to the beach at night, 
nor touched it's glowing waters.

I just felt like saying that.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Music to my ears: Agent Ribbons


Click here to see a whore's fancypants

Well, would you look at that...it's Monday night again. I always enjoy Monday nights because I don't have to work on Tuesday. Now, I don't dislike my job...actually, I love being there. It's just that I enjoy gettin' piss drunk and waking up naked on my living room floor much more when I don't have to be anywhere the next day. You dig?

Yeah, I said it...naked. It's a sore sight, but over the years I hear some have enjoyed what that looks like. Personally, I like me better with clothes on, but to each their own, right? I just got chills. Ugh...

Anyway kiddies, I was wandering around the internet looking up when my Scottish cutie pies, Camera Obscura were coming to my area and through the normal six degrees of separation idea, found this band. Agent Ribbons is their name and damn it if these little ladies don't make some of the finest racket I've heard in a while.

If I had to make any comparisons I'd say....um...no, if I had to play the game called "If they mated" I'd say that Agent Ribbons is the child of 2003 White Stripes and Canadian songstress Lullaby Baxter. In other words...good shit.

I got this album the other day and it's been in super duper heavy rotation in the Robot household as well as my Ipod. 

I don't normally do this, but I feel it must be said:

Hey chicken tits, get off of your ass and go buy a physical copy of this album because these girls are making real swell tunes for beautiful goons. If they don't make money, they can't live. If they can't live...well, then I'll die too.

Okay, I won't die, but let's pretend that I'll forever be unable to pronounce the word "pronounce"

...and how bad would that be, huh?

Enjoy Agent Ribbons and their presentation of "On time travel and romance"

*I could be severely incorrect, but something tells me that Little Liza Jane might enjoy this album in full.

Update: She did.