Oh robot is a man. I like laughing. I'll watch anything with Chuck Norris in it. I own records I still haven't heard yet. I refuse to give up on my cassette tapes. I wish I could live on a diet consisting of steak and shrimp. I've just discovered the joy of being barefoot at home. I despise seeing toe rings on women's feet. My wife, kids, and dogs are vegan. I give my dogs meat on the sly. I work more than play. I can't swim. I don't drive. Some say I wear small shorts. People often treat me as their psychiatrist. I know the cowboy from the Village People. Someday I'd like to move to either Scotland or San Francisco. I wish people would leave comments more often. I'm an old romantic. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my other heart on my other sleeve. I like movies with talking animals. I have a desire to hug a cow and tell it nice things. I haven't shopped at a real clothing store in over fifteen years. I own five pairs of pants and they all look the same. I have about twenty shirts and with the exception of three, they are all the same. People tell me that I'm quite the catch. Although I was born in New York, people often believe I am from a country western state. I don't feel handsome. I've been brokenhearted more than I'd care to mention. I don't care for professional dancing. I firmly believe that love is nothing but a slow heart attack. I'd really like a stiff drink right now.