I think it would be an understatement for me to say that today was a bad day. It was awful. I don't really feel like getting into all of the specifics here, but it's really crazy how tons of little, meaningless events can add up until you feel like you were smashed in the chest with a bowling ball. Honestly, the bowling ball would be better.
When I woke up today after a sleep that only lasted about three hours, I turned on the computer and checked this site out. I was pretty hammered last night so I wanted to make sure that I didn't post any pics of me in the buff. For the record, pictures of me in my naked glory do not exist. Thank the Lord for that.
Anyway, the first thing I noticed was a comment from the Black Lips management that basically told me to remove the album file for the record "Let it bloom" or face some crap from them. Naturally I removed the post immediately, but wished I didn't have to. I get it though. These bands need the cash. After that, the day decided that it was going to commit suicide. It really went down hill from there. Not because of the Black Lips thing, but because of how the crap just kept piling up.
People tried to talk to me at work, but in all honesty, I wished they would've ignored me instead. My weakness is that I can't ever just lie and tell people I'm fine when they ask me how I am . Then, after I tell them, I feel embarrassed for being such a downer. It's rare that I feel this way, but I'm up to my ears in with all of the things that have been bugging me lately. I never even get specific either. I just serve up a couple of furled eyebrows and a sampling of frowns.
I'm not even sure what's making me so nutso?
Anyway, I got bummed out again when I got a radio call regarding a disabled lady needing assistance. I got there in minutes to find a woman sitting in a wheelchair and dressed like taxidermy art from a New Mexico drawing contest. She was as mean as as an angry old cat. And you know how those cats are...
I introduced myself and the first thing she said in a gruff, stony voice was "I arranged to have someone dedicated to me and the chair." She said it like she was an ice cold super villain from a comic book. I looked down at her and asked her where she was given this information. She stared into my eyes with a hypnotists gaze and said something about "Paramount"
I didn't know what the fuck she was talking about so I told her to relax and that I'd take her to her room. She sat silent. Every time I looked down at her, she looked like a bag of horse skin topped off with a low end cowboy hat and turquoise jewelry.
She had two fat little boys with her. The two meatballs were basically running around us in circles. Every few seconds one of them would ask a stupid question or say something so lame that it had me begging for the experience to end. That's the problem in my line of work. You can't choose who you help. Sometimes you get really nice people, but then other times you get douches like this.
When we got to the room, the fatsos would not stop talking about the flat panel TV. They constantly repeated the words
"Yes! Flat screen TV!" Except they added the eeeeeeee! sound at the end and they did it close to twenty times.
The dead pelt lady started yelling at them and then turned to me and said "My son has my wallet." Which was intended to let me know that I wouldn't be getting a tip. There was a moment of silence and then she kind of stared me out of the room.
Because I am a nice man, I offered her more of my assistance should she be needing it, but nothing could have stopped the room from growing colder as I navigated my way toward the door.
The kids looked afraid. I'm just glad I got out of there before she handed me a dreamcatcher necklace.
By the way, the penguin in the image above was created by me in about twenty minutes using scotch tape and hotel room keys. I'm a busy guy.
