The Misfits bring the Static Age

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Click here to finally get rid of that dead thing smell.

There once was a time when Glenn Danzig could do no wrong. This record is from that time. Enjoy it while pounding beers or arm wrestling a van full of angry jocks. Fuck those dudes, right? What the hell are a bunch of jocks doing driving around at night anyway? Don't they have some sort of "game" in the morning? Shit.

I'm not sure if girls like this record. I mean, of course there are actual girls, with breasts and vaginas, that listen to The misfits, but how about the girls you might actually want to get in the sack with? From my personal experience...none. 100% of the fairer sex who I have met that had this record had their heads shaved or a facial implant that made them look like a crazy, bumpy animal. If there are some fine ladies that dig this, I apologize. Actually... right now ladies aren't popular with me. They are the equivalent of a scurvy ridden sea rat with an infected sore leaking from its belly. Not only that, but out of the sore comes worms... with knives!

I'll be better tomorrow. Maybe. Until then though, I'd like it if you played this album end to end in your van. Oops, I mean the van you just won from arm wrestling those sissy jocks. Man, you'd think they'd have expected someone to stab them while arm wrestling. Sheesh!