There are probably too many to list here for now, but here's a smattering. I know, you're reading this and thinking to yourself "Oh, who has time to hate anything? We all need to get along..."
Sorry pussy. If I'm hurting you... I'll call up the W-A-A-A-mbulance and get that slit sewn right up. Okay, done? Let's move on.
1. Bands who are not Rock N' Roll, but claim to be even though they sound like Thrice, Thursday, and all the rest of that garbage. Harsh? Me? You ain't seen nothin yet bitches.
2. Girls. Why girls? Because girls, no matter if they are 'women' still act like assholes. No, I'm not even talking about my ex. I'm just saying... in general they suck. (and by suck I'm not referring to sucking dicks. Haven't you heard? Nice girls don't do that anymore. Awesome.) By the way, watch out for my dripping, honey smothered sarcasm.
3. Meetings. Meetings are for people who like to talk about work instead of actually doing the work. I'm forced to have meetings where I am the speaker and I detest it. How about this? I'll send an email out and you will read that email, which in turn, if you can read... you will carry out the assignment with gusto. The alternative is we can all gather in a room where I picture setting you all on fire instead.
4. Hearts. Why do I even have one? They suck. I know... I know... they pump blood and all that crap. Fine. Hearts... you win.
5. Anxiety/ waiting. Have you seen 500 days of Summer? There's this part where Joseph Bingo Chavez or whatever his name is goes to see Zooey She & Him and they split the screen into reality and expectations. Whoever wrote that may be the greatest mind on Earth. I will soon become the type of person that never expects anything because expectations are heartbreak in a can.
6. Relationships. Actually, I love them and I'd like one. Yoo Hoo...anyone out there looking for a slightly used guy with a mustache? I'm whiskey and cigarette scented if it helps.
