Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Fresh and Onlys - Imaginary Friends EP 7"


http://sharebee.com/81f49011

Click here for a Don Knots super hug.


Right now San Francisco is leading the nation in awesomeness due to their seemingly endless supply of bands coming out with fantastic stuff. Coincidentally, all of these bands seem to be in the same gang.

The Fresh and Onlys are getting so much attention in the robot's castle that a few of my other records can be heard crying. In fact, my copy of Wham's Make it big just committed suicide about an hour ago. I just got finished cleaning up the beard stubble. It was everywhere.

Oh crap, is that an earring on the floor? Shit.

This is their first 7 inch. Enjoy!

I heart Des Roar!

Das Roar Bionic Ear Recording Session from Indie Rock Reviews on Vimeo.



It's been a minute since I've mentioned my good friends and Rock N' Roll partners, Des Roar, but I've been hipped to the news that their debut long player, Mad Things, is complete. So basically what I'm trying to say is that sooner than you think all of you kids are going to be twistin' in front of your record players en masse.

Contact the band should you have the urge to pick up an exclusive t-shirt designed by yours truly. It's the perfect tee to wear while stabbing your enemies... a lot. Through you should be careful... since Billy Mays passed away, I'm not sure OxyClean can get those pesky blood stains out of your American Apparel tees.

The worst part... these lazy bastards I count among my bestest of friends haven't given me one yet.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Girls Beware is serious business!




Hey lady... just forget the whole thing, I've got better things to do besides waste my time wanting you.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

It's Wednesday. Yeah!





Oh robot is a man. I like laughing. I'll watch anything with Chuck Norris in it. I own records I still haven't heard yet. I refuse to give up on my cassette tapes. I wish I could live on a diet consisting of steak and shrimp. I've just discovered the joy of being barefoot at home. I despise seeing toe rings on women's feet. My wife, kids, and dogs are vegan. I give my dogs meat on the sly. I work more than play. I can't swim. I don't drive. Some say I wear small shorts. People often treat me as their psychiatrist. I know the cowboy from the Village People. Someday I'd like to move to either Scotland or San Francisco. I wish people would leave comments more often. I'm an old romantic. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my other heart on my other sleeve. I like movies with talking animals. I have a desire to hug a cow and tell it nice things. I haven't shopped at a real clothing store in over fifteen years. I own five pairs of pants and they all look the same. I have about twenty shirts and with the exception of three, they are all the same. People tell me that I'm quite the catch. Although I was born in New York, people often believe I am from a country western state. I don't feel handsome. I've been brokenhearted more than I'd care to mention. I don't care for professional dancing. I firmly believe that love is nothing but a slow heart attack. I'd really like a stiff drink right now.

Optiganally Yours: This may be the first time you hear about an Optigan.


Click here to forget you're yellow.

If it isn't, then you are aware of the coolness of one of those things. Whoever thought up the merging of a record player and a piano was a fucking genius.

Why not, right?

Look up what the Optigan can do!
Even if you don't appreciate the music, you should at least respect what these guys set out to do... and did.

*Mr. Wilson is awesome!

Please enjoy A spotlight on Optiganally Yours

By the way, the image above isn't the album cover. I just thought this one was cute. Doesn't she look like she'd have a few cats?

* I should add that there's nothing wrong with cats.. unless you prefer dogs which are far, far superior to felines. Hee hee.

Weakends are good.


Click here for a glove full of water

There's no telling how I ever heard of these dudes, but the Weakends are simultaneously ramshackle and tight at the same time.

From France, the band has found it's way to the US by way of Rob's House Records... which by the way, is a mega-rad label and you should buy shit from them on a regular basis.

Anyway, I'd like you to enjoy their debut album. It's self titled because apparently, the Weakends are men of little regard for flashy names and such.

Go out and buy this on wax. It'll come in handy more often than you'd think.

Dan Auerbach appreciation night.


Click here to make a rum mistake

Here is an album that I feel went without much noteriety, even though it was created by one of the best guitarists to ever walk the Earth. Dan Auerbach, the "everything but the drums" half of the duo otherwise known as the Black Keys.

Included are the trademark sick riffs and everything else that make the Black Keys such a recognizable sound, but on this solo outing, there is something going on that is entirely different.

It's a fine record, but I can't help but long for the days when this guy released songs like "Busted." Easily that's one of the nastiest bar fightin' songs ever laid to wax.

Be good kids... and don't forget to buy a copy of this should you spot it on vinyl. It's important to own physical copies of records from the musicians you like.

It also features Jessica Lea Mayfield. She's dope.


Saturday, September 12, 2009

Maniac is serious business!



There are times where twenty minutes isn't enough.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Hentchmen assorted 45's


Click here for mean farfisa!

The Hentchmen have long been considered the best band in Michigan for way over a decade now. They've released countless albums and 45's and have consistently toured the world ten times over. Jack White was once a member of this group as well.

Listening to this group isn't like hearing so many of these other 60's styled bands. No sir, these guys are so fucking authentic it God damned hurts!

Here's a little fun fact:
Jack White originally wrote the song "Hypnotize" for them, but they , for unknown reasons never used it. Years later it ended up on the Elephant record.

See? You can sometimes learn from me. Yay!.

I ripped these from vinyl and I loved doing it!
You'll find...

Surprise surprise - Norton's Rolling Stones cover project 7"
One up 7"
So many girls 7"



Sleazy like Sunday Morning: #3 in my Paperback sleaze project.


A grimy old warehouse wasn't the ideal spot for him to go down on her, but who was she to argue? She'd been dying for a slow hand all afternoon and today he'd have her sitting on an old bar stool with her head tilted back. As her eyes opened and closed they captured tiny pictures of the ceiling and the light fixtures above them. The slight flashes seemed like a dim, slow flashing strobe. He started with a playful touch to her inner thigh and not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, she spread her legs slightly as to not impede his advances. He stopped and reached for a nearby milk crate to sit upon. Then... positioning himself before her, he traced at the backs of her knees with his fingers all the while relishing the fact that his tongue would dampen these same spots later.

She was beautiful. And cool.

Her eyes were the smoky, 3 am bar you just have to go into. Every time he looked in her direction, it was as if he was drinking away her very being. That's how badly he desired to consume her.

As he softly bit the inside of her thigh, his heart began to pump. He was excited beyond return trip by this point and his cock was bursting against the denim cage wrapped around it like a wild gorilla. Lately his attention was focused on the taste of her vagina and tonight he'd do good by himself to take a chomp. Lord knows, she wanted it in the worst way. Her body, a rag doll, for his contemptuous throws, was tossed into that special place where no fire could be extinguished. He felt it was best to let it burn.