Is this a good idea?

Or is it a "free rape" pass if she forgets to fill it out and the cabbie's a degenerate? Without a doubt.

Bad idea. Also a good idea (if the cabbie is swell and harmless). Not the rape part, asshole.

If you ever rape someone you deserve a dick chop that every scimitar in the land will be jealous of. If a girl wants to fuck you, she will and she'll know pretty early on. No amount of flowers, sweet poems, or money will change her mind unless she's a soulless fly trap. Who wants that anyway? Even if she does have a great ass...

I call this one "Monster Advance"

I wish the lies would cease. Then I could fall asleep and dream about nice things for a change.

I call this one "Star Teeth"

I fucking hate sunglasses at night. Just sayin'...

Things I dislike right now.

There are probably too many to list here for now, but here's a smattering. I know, you're reading this and thinking to yourself "Oh, who has time to hate anything? We all need to get along..."

Sorry pussy. If I'm hurting you... I'll call up the W-A-A-A-mbulance and get that slit sewn right up. Okay, done? Let's move on.

1. Bands who are not Rock N' Roll, but claim to be even though they sound like Thrice, Thursday, and all the rest of that garbage. Harsh? Me? You ain't seen nothin yet bitches.

2. Girls. Why girls? Because girls, no matter if they are 'women' still act like assholes. No, I'm not even talking about my ex. I'm just saying... in general they suck. (and by suck I'm not referring to sucking dicks. Haven't you heard? Nice girls don't do that anymore. Awesome.) By the way, watch out for my dripping, honey smothered sarcasm.

3. Meetings. Meetings are for people who like to talk about work instead of actually doing the work. I'm forced to have meetings where I am the speaker and I detest it. How about this? I'll send an email out and you will read that email, which in turn, if you can read... you will carry out the assignment with gusto. The alternative is we can all gather in a room where I picture setting you all on fire instead.

4. Hearts. Why do I even have one? They suck. I know... I know... they pump blood and all that crap. Fine. Hearts... you win.

5. Anxiety/ waiting. Have you seen 500 days of Summer? There's this part where Joseph Bingo Chavez or whatever his name is goes to see Zooey She & Him and they split the screen into reality and expectations. Whoever wrote that may be the greatest mind on Earth. I will soon become the type of person that never expects anything because expectations are heartbreak in a can.

6. Relationships. Actually, I love them and I'd like one. Yoo Hoo...anyone out there looking for a slightly used guy with a mustache? I'm whiskey and cigarette scented if it helps.

The last post of 2009.

Well kids, it's been a tough year, but we've made it through anyhow. I'd like to thank this time to say thank you to all of the folks who stop by this site and hang for a while. I appreciate you. Hopefully 2010 will be awesome, but I ain't gonna put my hopes in the air just yet. I'm not making any resolutions either. Screw it... I drink, I smoke, I touch myself. That's who I am and it's what my daddy made me. I'm kidding. I was made in a lab.

Anyway, I hope to see all the old faces on January 2nd 2010. I'm giving an extra day because if you're gonna go out celebratin' the new year, you better do it so well that you spend the first day of it vomiting. That being said, I hope I see some new and friendly faces too.

And hopefully I speak for a lot of bloggers out there...

... may 2010 be a year where leaving nice meaningful and relevant comments is the norm.

(To the four people who just discovered the internet: Copy/ paste to translate)

I am a person who is full of love:

Love for my family.

Love for music.

Love for my Department.

Shit, I love you too and I'll tell you this:

I draw when I drink, I drink when I draw... tell the cops whatever, except what you saw.

The Plague Whore of Mell County

The Atlantic City Witch

Shark

Bedroom Spider Dealer

Busstop

Belaware and the Wish

Fervent

Those Two

Blown Ghosts

Dog Day For Passion

The Pink Robot Behind Me

Hell Wants

Hell Gets

Gunggung Baby

Horrible Things Under Your Bed

Texas Road Trip

Idea

Poor Sport

Chewn

I'll see you when you're sleeping

Happy New Year!!!

NSFW, but pretty cool.

NSFW means "not safe for work" just in case you're like... new to the internet and if that's the case... well, welcome aboard!

I'm not sure what it is about the work of Laurent Jourquin that catches my eye, but I'm guessing that it has something to do with the fact that there is nudity involved or at the very least, cardboard. I love cardboard. That's right. Cardboard.

My first Christmas Card!

Thanks Lisa! Tell the boys I hope they all get a little more than coal this year. Also, I have no phone right now. The devil ate it :(

*Update 12/26/09: Correction-my only Christmas card.

It's Wednesday. Yeah!

Oh robot is a man. I like laughing. I'll watch anything with Chuck Norris in it. I own records I still haven't heard yet. I refuse to give up on my cassette tapes. I wish I could live on a diet consisting of steak and shrimp. I've just discovered the joy of being barefoot at home. I despise seeing toe rings on women's feet. My wife, kids, and dogs are vegan. I give my dogs meat on the sly. I work more than play. I can't swim. I don't drive. Some say I wear small shorts. People often treat me as their psychiatrist. I know the cowboy from the Village People. Someday I'd like to move to either Scotland or San Francisco. I wish people would leave comments more often. I'm an old romantic. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my other heart on my other sleeve. I like movies with talking animals. I have a desire to hug a cow and tell it nice things. I haven't shopped at a real clothing store in over fifteen years. I own five pairs of pants and they all look the same. I have about twenty shirts and with the exception of three, they are all the same. People tell me that I'm quite the catch. Although I was born in New York, people often believe I am from a country western state. I don't feel handsome. I've been brokenhearted more than I'd care to mention. I don't care for professional dancing. I firmly believe that love is nothing but a slow heart attack. I'd really like a stiff drink right now.

Sad Whale

Saturday, it's late.

Little baby Robots!

It's been a joy having kids. Really! Except for those times when you want to strangle them because they will not stop crying. Well, you never actually want to strangle them.....maybe. Hee hee...

Oh, keyboard and mouse...

today's gray murderer

A simple Ikea Hack

Inspired by the genius minds that submit to the wonderful site Ikeahacker, I decided to get a little creative on my own. While I was going to photograph some of the stuff I've done lately, I looked up at my wall, the same wall I've looked at for a long time now, and realized that I had gotten a bit creative without even realizing it.

What I did was take a wire frame wreath light from Ikea (can't remember the name and can't find the link on the Ikea site)and hang it over a mounted canvas. To get the rich brown color I used a deep wood stain. I know it's not the greatest thing and technically can't be considered a hack, but I thought I'd toss my hat in the ring today.

Picture of the day!

Look at all these Rumers.

Oh robot and a drawing of Tony Danza present:

Take it away, Tony!

"Hey, ohhh, so aye...it's exciting! It's exciting this thing...terrific."

Really folks, I promise there's a show here. Lately I've let you guys know a little about what's going on in my life and I hope it's been a good read so far.

Here are the things I've been getting into lately...

• These albums are getting rotation at home:

First impressions of Earth - The Strokes

Alison Statton - Pants Yell!

• The TV I watch:

Dexter Season 2

Family guy

• The food I've eaten recently:

Rice and beans

Vegitarian soy living

A bit of meat

• Some personal activities of mine are:

Drawing

Gardening

• My habits are:

Smoking

Drooling

• I Dislike:

Animal abuse

Troublemakers

I wish I could:

Concentrate on something for more than a minute.