A little oh robot television

The Greenhornes from 2001



It Returns

Ranting is theraputic...

I just woke up from a short night's sleep. Four hours to be exact. I'm in a good mood even though in my groggy state I spilled a piping hot cup of coffee on my foot. Last night one of my kids decided that she was somehow going to magically grow her stomach in five minute intervals and pretty much shoot huge holes in any sleep theory's I may have been working on. It was about 5am when we were jolted awake by the savage cries of some wild animal that appeared to be inside of one of the bassinets.

We jumped out of bed fearing that a wild creature had eaten the child and was now suffering from a stomach ache. cautiously, I grabbed a pipe that I keep by the bed that was made especially for intruders and raised it over my head in case it lunged at me. We slowly crept toward it.

After lowering the creepy organ music that weirdly started playing out of nowhere, my wife and I pounced on the bassinet and saw the creature. It was writhing around and appeared to be somewhat uncomfortable.

"Feed it." Mrs. Robot said. Realizing that this could be dangerous I said a prayer to Saint Limby, the patron saint of all who have lost a body part and went for it. I picked it up and realized that this screaming monster was actually my child.

I fed her and she gulped every last drop of milk like it was the last drink she'd ever take. After a burp, she fell asleep and I placed her back in her little bed. Feeling every bit the champion, I raised my hands above my head, clasped them together and imitated the slow motion footage that is usually reserved for sports teams who won the championship.

All of a sudden the forest shook once again. The beast wanted more! I sluggishly made a new bottle and placed it on the warmer. Her cries were deafening. I tried to move swiftly to avoid rousing any other nighttime creatures, including my wife.

I repeated the usual steps: feed, burp, soothe, place in bed, but I could tell that this snarling animal wasn't going to go down without a fight. Was I ready for the challenge? I didn't know, but I was damn sure that I wasn't going to run with my tail between my legs.

After an intense battle between the forces of awake and sleepy I emerged victorious once again. I had slain the beast's appetite and laid it down for a night of uninterrupted slumber. Hooray!

You know how in some movies, like at the end where you think that the monster is dead, but then all of a sudden the fingers move or the eye blinks and then the credits immediately start to roll, basically telling you that this monster will definitely be back? Such was my life on this night.

The child will normally have about 3 ounces at that hour, but she was hungry in a way that I'd never seen before. At the end of it all she swallowed close to eight ounces whole. A world record in the Robot household.

Exhausted, I fell asleep at a little before 7:00am on the couch. I just woke up a little while ago and you know what? I'm so tired that I'm pretty sure that the cops could site me with being drunk in public. Maybe a shower will cure this?

Anyway, thanks for listening. This post was actually going to be a review of the Albert Hammond Jr. album, which honestly...was a big disappointment after his incredible first record.

I'm just saying...

Personal data from the future.

Being a parent is crazy like nothing else. People who have lots of kids probably take it for granted, but I'm sure you'll never get the feeling like when you have your first one. Or first ones in my case.

I'm new at being a parent. The great thing is that for the most part, you know what to do. Recently, someone asked me if I was scared of becoming a father? The answer is I was, but, and I described it as simplistically as I could, said "You know how when you're at the computer downloading something and the little progress bar is becoming fuller? Well, it's that fast.

As soon as they handed me the first one I stopped feeling like I was too much of an oaf to ever hold a baby. All of my silly fears about the soft spots on the head and the general ickyness of a newborn vanished in a flash.

It's the most unique feeling I could describe. There isn't a drug that could hand it to you either.

The girls are now seven weeks old. They're really loud. They cry as if it's the very thing to do. When they sleep, oh, they're beautiful, but when they're doing their usual freak out, well...there's not really much in the way of helping that.

Everyone from the doctor to the janitor and the nurse will tell you that there are three things that will cause a baby to be inconsolable...

1. They're hungry. Those little babies sure love to eat.

2. They've got gas. Hey, sometimes a burp will suffice. If not, and a little song won't do, you're in trouble.

3. They pooped. This is the smelliest option on the list. Generally, the poop will somehow get on their feet and transfer to your hand while you're not looking. They will cry when they feel the touch of the cool baby wipe against their skin. You must keep them clean.

They are ridiculously easy to love. Also, they're just as effortless in their ability to make you want to pull your hair out. There are times when you feel as if the violent shrill of their cries is hurting them. So then you think about how...

so many different experts say so many different things. Can you let them cry? Some say yes and others say no. Who can you believe? I find that the happy medium in my house is to let them cry for only a few minutes before beginning the investigation.

Sometimes kids are just uncomfortable I suppose. Lots of folks say that, but we're a paranoid bunch who'd rather go to the doctor than leave that ugly chunk of wondering floating around.

Goodnight. They're asleep.

The Greenhornes - Dual Mono

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Everyday that I wake up and have coffee two things come to mind:
1. "Damn, this coffee is good"
2. "What the hell is Craig Fox doing?"

Well, actually I don't really think about that second one everyday, but to be fair I was thinking about it at this very moment after recalling about how awful the last Racs album was. I wonder if Pat Keeler and Little Jack miss playing those smaller shows?

Ahhh...those were the days. Anyway, what IS Craig Fox doing now? I definitely miss that voice.

Update: I have just learned what the man, Craig Fox has been up to. Along with members of the now defunct Soledad Brothers and Pearlene, he's in the beer soaked band The Cincinnati Suds
Suddenly my life just became that much more warm. I think I'll go ahead and pour myself a little Makers Mark.

Here's their promo video

A simple Ikea Hack

Inspired by the genius minds that submit to the wonderful site Ikeahacker, I decided to get a little creative on my own. While I was going to photograph some of the stuff I've done lately, I looked up at my wall, the same wall I've looked at for a long time now, and realized that I had gotten a bit creative without even realizing it.

What I did was take a wire frame wreath light from Ikea (can't remember the name and can't find the link on the Ikea site)and hang it over a mounted canvas. To get the rich brown color I used a deep wood stain. I know it's not the greatest thing and technically can't be considered a hack, but I thought I'd toss my hat in the ring today.

Dan Sartain

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This skinny man from Alabama will stab you in the face. Or at least his beady eyes suggest just that. I first heard of Sartain a few years back and instantly felt that he was one to watch. Hand picked by the White Stripes to tour with them, one can instantly see why. His stage presence is awesome! If you search this blog you'll find his video for "Replacement Man" and man, the senseless killing just makes me feel all fuzzy.

Enjoy Dan Sartain vs. The Serpientes!

Every robot got a lonely heart...

Welcome to oh, robot. I'm one guy. If I had to build one thing to save the world...well, I guess it would have to be a fireproof boat big enough to save a lone group of survivors who, against the odds stacked against them, lose a few along the way before ultimately discovering such a dark secret that the forces of hell would stop at nothing to bring them their doom. If I could shut up for ten minutes, I would.

I like music. I like that I know an LA gangster who secretly spends his quiet time listening to Gretchen Wilson. I wish I rode my bicycle more often. I've been playing more guitar lately. It seems I always like doing that better when the bottom string is missing. It snapped off the other day. "Yes!" I thought.

Does anybody who reads this blog wanna say thanks sometimes?

It was 4am the other night when I had just finished a round of cocktails in the backyard. I was listening to King Khan & BBQ when I picked up the hose and watered my yard. It's been hot here and the tips of my privacy greens are beginning to turn a failed orange.

Black Lips time!!!

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After taking my ass to the record store last year to buy this album, I went home and did what I do best...drink. Seeing as I had a 1.75 liter jug of cheapo gin, by the time side two rolled around I had my shirt off and was playing air guitar on my front porch.

That's what's great about rock and roll. Agreed?

Please enjoy this crunchy ass live album, Los Valientes del Mondo Nuevo, by these self described "flower punks"

The King Khan & BBQ show!

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click here to put baby in the corner.


I'm a bit late on the band wagon when it comes to these two. I had always been aware of their existence, but failed to take a closer look. I don't know why, maybe laziness is the culprit? Anyway, a few weeks ago I picked up this little gem through a friend and immediately decided that I'd be a lazy man no more. I won't sit here and tell you that every song on this album is great. In my opinion there are at least two clunkers. Most notably "fish fight"

That being said, the rest of this record will definitely satisfy that lo-fi garage punk yearning that I know you've got inside. The kind of hunger that keeps you out there on the streets searchin' for the perfect soundtrack to a booze swillin' evening with the one you wanna bang.

It's like poetry really.

13 Crimson Ghosts - A surf tribute to the Misfits

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Click here for too much horror business!

In life there are some pleasures that cannot be described in words. Fortunately, this is one of them that really can be. So much so in fact, that their old bassist has taken it upon himself to bootleg this album on his own and not share any profits with the band. Heck, their own website describes him as an asshole.

I can't say that I blame him though. I mean, this is probably thee most fantastic tribute album I've ever heard....and it's instrumental at that!

When I first popped this in I immediately cracked a wide smile. These guys are so rad to have created this masterpiece. After hearing this album you should go out there and buy more from them because it's really clear that this band doesn't simply make surf rock...they do their homework too!

Des Roar @ Piano's NYC 7/3/08

Here are some shots from a wild night of Des Roar debauchery. Photo credit to Lisa Thi-Beskar who seemingly takes awesome pictures all the time!

According to the gig report, there was a power outage in the first half of the set, but just when it seemed that all was lost, BANG! Rock and Roll happened and damn near started a riot too!

Separated at birth? Jack White & Gavin Degraw

Gavin De Graw & Jack White look a lot alike. While I'm not a fan of DeGraw's music, I won't take away from the fact that he is a talented musician who basically OWNS the piano when he plays it.

Jack White, who the Robot household is a huge fan of, pretty much OWNS whatever instrument he grabs.
I was watching the worst late night talk show ever the other night (Carson Daly) ans happened to catch DeGraw's performance. I know, I must live under a rock because this guy is Billboard top ten all the way...On second thought, Carson Daly isn't the worst show. It's actually getting better these days. It just feels rushed.